Fake short story by Iris Carden The body was lying face down, half covered in overgrown grass. “Council workers clearing the overgrown creek area found the body. When they realised what it was they stopped work and called triple zero.” Inspector David Webber said. “What makes you think it’s one of ours?” HDU Senior Agent…… Continue reading Fake


Wine short story by Iris Carden I had ten bodies in cold storage at the time, all from the legit side of the business. Ten bodies. Three families. Three cars. One accident. One Christmas party. God knows how many bottles of plonk. Thee funerals each of multiple family members between Christmas and New Year. Merry…… Continue reading Wine


Exhumations short story by Iris Carden There’s a reason my unofficial body disposals are only ever done through the crematorium. That’s a tradition my father began as soon as he took over the business from his father. In my grandfather’s day, cremations weren’t so popular in Australia, so his only option was burials, and there…… Continue reading Exhumations


Quaaludes short story by Iris Carden Mr Anderson’s funeral had gone smoothly. In the reception room afterwards, I was carrying a try of sandwiches, offering them to mourners, when I saw Mr Anderson’s great-grandson handing out tablets to a group of other twenty-somethings. “What’s this?” I asked. “They’re Quaaludes, from Great-granddad’s stash. I found them…… Continue reading Quaaludes


Kids short story by Iris Carden Kids are the worst. Oh you thought your friendly local funeral director doesn’t have feelings? Think again. Kids are definitely the worst. Katie was only thirteen. She’d just started high school, and some waste of space bully had pushed her to the point where she cut her wrists. Her…… Continue reading Kids