Crime fiction – Iris Carden, Author

Fake

Fake short story by Iris Carden The body was lying face down, half covered in overgrown grass. “Council workers clearing the overgrown creek area found the body. When they realised what it was they stopped work and called triple zero.” Inspector David Webber said. “What makes you think it’s one of ours?” HDU Senior Agent…… Continue reading Fake

Rose

Rose short story by Iris Carden A card arrived at the HDU addressed personally to Senior Agent Jo Burns. The front of the card was black, with a red rose drawn in glitter. On the back was the message: “The Order of the Rose requests your attendance.” An address, and a time that night followed…… Continue reading Rose

Wine

Wine short story by Iris Carden I had ten bodies in cold storage at the time, all from the legit side of the business. Ten bodies. Three families. Three cars. One accident. One Christmas party. God knows how many bottles of plonk. Thee funerals each of multiple family members between Christmas and New Year. Merry…… Continue reading Wine

Mulch

Mulch short story by Iris Carden I don’t like dirt roads when I heard I’d have to drive an hour on a dirt road for this unofficial pick-up, I upped the price to fifteen thousand in cash. That extra five thousand was the hearse was going to get knocked around on a rough road, and…… Continue reading Mulch

Exhumations

Exhumations short story by Iris Carden There’s a reason my unofficial body disposals are only ever done through the crematorium. That’s a tradition my father began as soon as he took over the business from his father. In my grandfather’s day, cremations weren’t so popular in Australia, so his only option was burials, and there…… Continue reading Exhumations

Quaaludes

Quaaludes short story by Iris Carden Mr Anderson’s funeral had gone smoothly. In the reception room afterwards, I was carrying a try of sandwiches, offering them to mourners, when I saw Mr Anderson’s great-grandson handing out tablets to a group of other twenty-somethings. “What’s this?” I asked. “They’re Quaaludes, from Great-granddad’s stash. I found them…… Continue reading Quaaludes

Walrus

Walrus short story by Iris Carden She came without an appointment, but with her adult son. The mother reminded me of a walrus. It wasn’t just her size and shape. It was also her whiskers and the protruding teeth that looked like tusks. The son looked like a piece of spaghetti. If he’d been any…… Continue reading Walrus

Hypnotherapy

Hypnotherapy short story by Iris Carden Hello dear reader. I invite you to get comfortable now, while I tell you the strange tale of Elizabeth, who went to get help with a bad habit, and developed another instead. Elizabeth had a terrible problem with falling for the wrong men, the kind of men who would…… Continue reading Hypnotherapy

Sister

Sister short story by Iris Carden I was doing Mrs Capstan’s final manicure, when my sister rang. Oh, you didn’t know I had a sister? Actually she’s a half-sister. About five years after my mother left us, she came back for a visit with a three year old girl. She took off again, leaving the…… Continue reading Sister

Kids

Kids short story by Iris Carden Kids are the worst. Oh you thought your friendly local funeral director doesn’t have feelings? Think again. Kids are definitely the worst. Katie was only thirteen. She’d just started high school, and some waste of space bully had pushed her to the point where she cut her wrists. Her…… Continue reading Kids