Fearing the New

Fearing the New Blog post by Iris Carden I have to see a new rheumatologist in a couple of weeks’ time. There’s no choice. I can’t go back to the old one. He died in the floods in February this year. I’m always anxious when I have to change doctors. Part of that anxiety comes…… Continue reading Fearing the New

Cold Weather

Cold Weather blog post by Iris Carden This year, winter hit south east Queensland the way a road train hits a kangaroo. The weather has gone insane this year. We’ve had constant rain, and floods twice. My house is fairly well placed for the wet. I’m high enough to not get flooded, and while two…… Continue reading Cold Weather

Lupie Wisdom

Lupie Wisdom Blog post by Iris Carden I know I’ve been posting a lot about lupus lately, but World Lupus Day was 10th May, and many activists extend it into an entire month to raise awareness. So here, I’ve put together a group of old proverbs, and altering them to suit life with lupus: Early…… Continue reading Lupie Wisdom

Lupus Bites

Lupus Bites Poem by Iris Carden Days of fatigue nights full of pain Lupus is snarling as she slinks back again. I live with the wolf, she says in my ear, Your life is now mine, I’ll always be here. She takes such delight in tormenting her prey and oh what surprises she brings day…… Continue reading Lupus Bites

World Lupus Day

World Lupus Day Blog post by Iris Carden The tenth of May is World Lupus Day. It’s a day set aside to help promote awareness of lupus and the need for research and funding. For lupies, it’s a reminder that we’re not alone in this constant fight to survive, and that in the year since…… Continue reading World Lupus Day

Podcast Update

Podcast Update by Iris Carden You’ve probably noticed, the podcast is way behind the rest of this blog. I’ve been struggling. Dry mouth and throat from my lupus has been making it hard for me to speak more than a sentence or two at a time, which means it’s hard to record a story. So…… Continue reading Podcast Update

She is Me

She is Me Poem by Iris Carden She is five, a seemingly innocent child dressed up like a little princess. She lives in an adult world, The person closest to her age that she knows is the bogeyman who lives in her home and uses her body as a plaything. She has constant nightmares, both…… Continue reading She is Me


But I’m left with this thought: those couple of really minor things that happened to me in the midst of this huge disaster, were things that in a past life, I would have handled quickly and easily. I used to be able to decide what to do and be able act, with a fair degree of confidence, in almost any situation. I used to be able to do so much more for myself, without thinking to call for any kind of help. Not ever being able to rely on my body, and only intermittently being able to rely on my brain, has left me feeling very insecure.