Goodbye Bumpy

Goodbye Bumpy poem by Iris Carden

For seventeen years you ruled our lives
iron claw in velvet paw.
We learned to do what we were told
when you laid down the law.

On Saturday you met your fate,
at the emergency vet.
We'd hoped that you'd get over this,
like all that you'd faced yet.

While you hadn't been your usual self
for quite a while now,
if a cat could be immortal,
you'd work it out somehow.

No more will you look a disobedient
human in the eye
while peeing on clean clothes,
making sure that we know why.

No more will you bite Fanta dog's ear.
Or attack Princess cat on a whim.
No more will fearful pets be told:
"Just stay away from him."

No more will sleepy humans
be woken in the night,
with claws raked down our faces
as we jump up in fright.

Your story's told, this is the end,
your adventure is done,
but Bumpy you were the kind of cat,
whose legend must live on.

Mr Bumpy Cat, SFO

Mr Bumpy’s origin story takes place in the deep depths of pre-history, when a cute black and white kitten selected a child at the pet shop. When Bumpy refused to let go, the child’s mother had no choice but to pay to buy him. Once in the family home, Bumpy immediately took control as Supreme Feline Overlord of the whole house. Humans and animals were forced to bend to his will. While he is ancient cat now, he still rules the household, iron claw in velvet paw. He is retired, after a ten-year career as a bloggercat.

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