The Week Before Christmas

Drawing of Santa, in front of a Christmas tree. Caption reads: "It was a week before Christmas..."

The Week Before Christmas poem by Iris Carden

It was a week before Christmas
and things weren't going well,
Santa's cost-cutting measures 
were beginning to tell.

The reindeer were weak,
from inferior food,
Elves working overtime,
were in a horrible mood.

The elves formed a union.
Reindeer did the same.
They presented Santa,
their demands for change.

Santa said, "Wait,
I have to pay rent,
and money for materials
is already spent."

"Expenses are up
cost of living is high.
Christmas is coming,
crunch time is nigh!"

The elves answered first.
Their point was quite true:
paying for labour's  
a business cost too.

Reindeer added a point
he couldn't deny:
they couldn't deliver 
when too weak to fly.

So Santa was stuck 
in the workshop alone 
while elves and reindeer
picketed in the snow.

Santa finally turned to
the smartest person he knew.
Mrs Clause had the answer.
She knew what to do.

Santa wasn't any old boss,
he ruled the  north pole.
The economy was his,
the printing press as well.

Quantitive easing 
was the thing to do,
she said, "Print more money.
Men just don't have a clue."

So money was printed
and the elves were all paid.
The reindeer were fed,
so they could pull the sleigh.

Christmas was saved,
for this year at least.
But coming next year,
is the inflation beast.

While you’re here…

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By Iris Carden

Iris Carden is an Australian indie author, mother, grandmother, and chronic illness patient. On good days, she writes. Because of the unpredictability of her health, she writes on an indie basis, not trying to meet deadlines. She lives on a disability support pension now, but her ultimate dream is to earn her own living from her writing.


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