The Week Before Christmas poem by Iris Carden
It was a week before Christmas and things weren't going well, Santa's cost-cutting measures were beginning to tell. The reindeer were weak, from inferior food, Elves working overtime, were in a horrible mood. The elves formed a union. Reindeer did the same. They presented Santa, their demands for change. Santa said, "Wait, I have to pay rent, and money for materials is already spent." "Expenses are up cost of living is high. Christmas is coming, crunch time is nigh!" The elves answered first. Their point was quite true: paying for labour's a business cost too. Reindeer added a point he couldn't deny: they couldn't deliver when too weak to fly. So Santa was stuck in the workshop alone while elves and reindeer picketed in the snow. Santa finally turned to the smartest person he knew. Mrs Clause had the answer. She knew what to do. Santa wasn't any old boss, he ruled the north pole. The economy was his, the printing press as well. Quantitive easing was the thing to do, she said, "Print more money. Men just don't have a clue." So money was printed and the elves were all paid. The reindeer were fed, so they could pull the sleigh. Christmas was saved, for this year at least. But coming next year, is the inflation beast.
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