Writer, Not Serial Killer

Princess, a seal-point ragdoll cat, with an iPad and laptop. Caption reads: "Don't annoy the author."

Writer, Not Serial Killer poem by Iris Carden

Don't annoy the author, let me tell you why:
I'll put you in a story, then I'll make you die.

I have no qualms in killing a fictional you.
So be careful what you say, and be careful what you do.

I could forgive. I could forget. But where's the fun in that?
When I could write some words, and make you go splat!

I could push you down a staircase, or stab you in the night.
I could write a horror story, and make you die of fright.

Revenge is fun in fiction, there's no limit to what I write.
Look out, the killer's following, while you walk alone at night.

Forget conventional revenge. I won't slander your name around town,
You'll die in a dark alley, killed by a psychotic clown.

I'll put you in my story. You can read it through.
You may not even realise; only I'll know for sure it's you.

So don't annoy the author. While I write, don't bother me.
Or I'll put you in my story, and you'll die horribly!

While you’re here…

Find Iris Carden's books:  
    at Lulu (publisher)     
    at Amazon  
   or  at your favourite online bookshop.

Digital Tip Jar: PayPal.Me

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By Iris Carden

Iris Carden is an Australian indie author, mother, grandmother, and chronic illness patient. On good days, she writes. Because of the unpredictability of her health, she writes on an indie basis, not trying to meet deadlines. She lives on a disability support pension now, but her ultimate dream is to earn her own living from her writing.


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