Pundamonium

drawing of a well. Caption reads: It was a well, actually.

Pundamonium by Iris Carden

I love to play with words, which is probably one of the reasons I write. Today, I’m giving you a compilation of (admittedly bad) jokes based on puns.

  • I told a guy, known for mansplaining, about a hole in the ground with water in it. He said it was a well, actually.
  • How do you make a sausage roll or an apple turnover? Show them the salad dressing, and they’ll politely turn the other way.
  • A family of six ants, got together with a family of four ants to rent a house. They’re tenants.
  • A kleptomaniac entered the olympics. He took gold; and silver; and bronze.
  • I was playing cricket, and couldn’t work out why the ball was getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.
  • In today’s news, police found the mime who was kidnapped last week. He’d been subjected to unspeakable horrors.
  • I bought an amp for my guitar. It was a sound purchase.
  • Don’t make left turns. If it’s not right it’s wrong.
  • Someone asked why I was standing on one leg at the ATM. I was just checking my balance.
  • The short guy climbing down the wall from the prison window was a little condescending.
  • A short psychic escaped police custody. Police are looking for a small medium at large.

I’ll leave it there because that’s a whole lot of nonsense and I don’t want to bore you further.


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By Iris Carden

Iris Carden is an Australian indie author, mother, grandmother, and chronic illness patient. On good days, she writes. Because of the unpredictability of her health, she writes on an indie basis, not trying to meet deadlines. She lives on a disability support pension now, but her ultimate dream is to earn her own living from her writing.

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