Everything!

Photo of Princess, a seal-point ragdoll cat lying on a shelf. Caption reads: "The human used to keep lots of things on this shelf."

Everything! by Princess Cat

I have to do everything around here.

The other day there was a paper grocery bag on the dining table. There was no knowing if there was anything in the bag that needed to be investigated. The human seemed to be ignoring it, and left the room to do something else. I had to check.

The bag was empty, until it had my head in it. Then it was full, because I couldn’t get my head out. Who was left to get my head out of it? Me, because I have to do everything around here.

By the time the human was back, I was struggling with the bag that was holding my head and wouldn’t let go. I fell off the table just as the human got there – not in time to catch me, because humans don’t do anything right.

Somehow the bag came off when I was falling, so the human didn’t even help with that.

Then there’s the shelf above the tv. The human had lots of things on that shelf. I wanted to nap there. Did the human do anything about it? No! As I said, I have to do everything around here.

I had to push everything off the shelf for myself to make a space so I could nap there. I was exhausted when I was done, so it was a very long nap. At least the human hasn’t been silly enough to put other things back on my napping shelf.

The human keeps animal food in containers we can’t open, but Fanta and I have to tell her when to give us food. She can’t work that out for herself.

Even when she tries to do things, Fanta and I have to supervise! She can’t write or read or sew or paint or draw without at least one of us watching her closely. She’d get it all wrong otherwise. We can’t even trust her to go to the bathroom alone.

It’s all too much work for a beautiful fluffy cat. I need a nap. Luckily, there’s a nice shelf clear for me.

Princess, a sealpoint ragdoll cat.

Princess

Princess is a seal-point ragdoll cat. Her hobbies include naps, waking the human in the middle of the night, tummy tickles, knocking things off shelves, evading grooming, and petty theft (stealing paintbrushes, pincushions, etc.) Her special skills include jingle ball and fluffy mouse chasing. Her key goal in life is to be adored by everyone, but not actually touched unless she specifically requests it. She is never allowed outside, partly to protect wildlife, partly to keep debris out of her hair, and mostly because she is so naïve she wouldn’t survive five minutes outside. Also known as Pretty Kitty and Snuggle Cat.


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By Iris Carden

Iris Carden is an Australian indie author, mother, grandmother, and chronic illness patient. On good days, she writes. Because of the unpredictability of her health, she writes on an indie basis, not trying to meet deadlines. She lives on a disability support pension now, but her ultimate dream is to earn her own living from her writing.

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