The Great Toffee Heist

Photo of a glass dish with a lid. Caption reads: This dish used to have toffee in it.

The Great Toffee Heist by Fantasia Dog

The human made toffee this week. She said it would be extra yummy because she put a tiny bit of cinnamon in it.

When she finished making it she ate a piece and told me how very good it was. She did not give me a piece. It’s such a very sad thing, that my human often has treats, but doesn’t give me any. She left the rest of the toffee in a dish on the dining table.

The next morning, the human had to go out to the pharmacy for more medicine. While she was gone, I used my superior doggy intellect, and possibly a little help from my fluffy feline friend, to get the dish down from the table. (Note: I am neither confirming nor denying Princess was involved. I’m not the kind of dog who would dob on my mates, especially if I might want their help in another enterprise on another day.)

By the time the human had come back, I’d eaten four huge pieces of toffee, with crumbs of another chewed one on the floor, and the rest of the pieces spread all around.

The human was right, that toffee was very tasty!

You will never believe what the human did then. She swept up all of the toffee and threw it in the rubbish. That waste was unbelievable! If she didn’t want it, she could have left it for me.

So, in summary, my story is: toffee is very good, my human is very bad.

Photo of Fanta, a brindle Staffordshire bull terrier (Staffie) on a red couch, "smiling" at the camera.

Fantasia Dog

Fanta is a graduate of the Animal Welfare League Qld shelter, where she was known as Fantasia. On arrival at her forever home, her full name was declared too pretentious, and she became known as Fanta. Occasionally, when she emits noxious gases, she is known as Fartica or Fartica the Hellhound. She likes walks, playing, eating, more eating, and cats when they don’t bite her ears. She dislikes baths, cats when they do bite her ears, and dogs who bark at her when she’s out walking. Although she owns approximately a zillion toys, she only likes to play with Bear, Crocodile and Elephant.


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By Iris Carden

Iris Carden is an Australian indie author, mother, grandmother, and chronic illness patient. On good days, she writes. Because of the unpredictability of her health, she writes on an indie basis, not trying to meet deadlines. She lives on a disability support pension now, but her ultimate dream is to earn her own living from her writing.

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