It’s Not Easy by Princess Cat
It’s not easy being this beautiful. It’s especially difficult to manage my beautiful hair.
I can’t bathe myself. When I try, hair gets stuck on my tongue and I can’t spit it out and I’m stuck until a human rescues me. I don’t try very often.
That means the human has to do my grooming for me. I hate that.
I hate having my hair brushed, and the knots cut out. I hate baths even more.
When the human gives me a bath, it means I am put in the basin, with warm water. The human puts the cleaning stuff in the water, because I won’t cooperate with her rubbing shampoo through my hair. Even with the cleaning stuff in the water, she still wants to rub me, and work the stuff through.
When she lifts me out, I’m soaking. She holds me over the handbasin and lets a lot of water drain. Then she wraps me in a towel. When that all soaks up, she wraps me in another towel. When that all soaks up, I escape and run away while she’s trying to wrap me in the third towel. It can take me days to dry because I won’t let her wrap me up more than twice in the towels. She tried to dry me with the hair dryer once. The dryer burnt out without getting me dry. In winter, the human avoids bathing me, because she doesn’t want me cold and wet.
The human got me a dry bathing spray. I hate it. I hate the smell and I run away from the spray, and I don’t let her spray me or comb the stuff through my hair.
The other day, the human tried something else. She knew a pet in the past who had powder baths with baby powder.
She shut me in the bathroom and sprinkled me with a little bit of powder then brushed the powder out. I let her do that. She thought it was a success. But she couldn’t clean my paws like that and didn’t want to sprinkle powder on my face in case it got in my nose and eyes. She got a damp face washer and sprayed a tiny bit of the cleaning spray on it and used that to clean my face and paws. I threw a fit at that, but I’d agreed up until that point, and the human thought it went fairly well.
The next day, the human said she might try a daily powder bath, to help keep me clean. This time, I cooperated completely. I purred while she sprinkled a little bit of powder and brushed me. I even rolled over so she could powder and brush my tummy. The human told the upstairs human we’d solved the problem, that we had a way to keep me clean that I didn’t object to.
That was a trick. I’m a sneakypaws. I like to trick the human. The day after that she forgot to shut me in the bathroom to groom me. She sprinkled a tiny bit of powder on me and I ran away and hid before she could get the brush. It was so funny.
Tricking humans is so much fun. Getting groomed isn’t much fun at all.
Princess
Princess is a seal-point ragdoll cat. Her hobbies include naps, waking the human in the middle of the night, tummy tickles, knocking things off shelves, evading grooming, and petty theft (stealing paintbrushes, pincushions, etc.) Her special skills include jingle ball and fluffy mouse chasing. Her key goal in life is to be adored by everyone, but not actually touched unless she specifically requests it. She is never allowed outside, partly to protect wildlife, partly to keep debris out of her hair, and mostly because she is so naïve she wouldn’t survive five minutes outside. Also known as Pretty Kitty and Snuggle Cat.
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Iris Carden, Author 
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