Splendid Isolation

Splendid Isolation by Mr Bumpy Cat

Hello out there in the Bloggosphere,

I am an old cat and I like my personal space. Upstairs I live with just my upstairs human, but sometimes I go downstairs where the downstairs human lives with Fanta and Princess.

The problem with downstairs, is that I don’t always want to be with Fanta and Princess. I find them both annoying. I eat their food, but I don’t want to socialise with them. Sometimes I explain this to them by biting Fanta’s ears, or weeing all over Princess’ stuff.

The downstairs human said, if I wanted to be an only cat I should just go upstairs to be the only cat there. I did not feel like going upstairs.

Then the human started to draw other places I could be an only cat, and she put me in the drawings of imaginary places.

She put me on a mat in a strange room.

Photo of Bumpy, a black and white cat inserted into a drawing of a room with wood panelled walls and pink curtains. Caption reads: "She drew pictures of places I could be an only cat."

Then she put me a long way away in the bush.

Photos of Bumpy, a black and white cat, inserted into two drawings of forest scenes. Caption reads: "Where can Bumpy be alone?"

She put me in a yard that’s different to ours, and at the end of the rainbow. Does she mean I’m as precious as gold?

Photo of Bumpy, a black and white cat, inserted into two drawings. One drawing is a grassed area with a tree that has a tyre swing attached. The other is a grassy area and the end of a rainbow. Caption reads: "Away from the other animals."

Then she put me under a plant and on a roof.

Photos of Bumpy, a black and white cat, inserted into two drawings. In one he is beside a large potted plant with yellow flowers. In the other he is on the red roof of a building. Caption reads: "A cat apart from the world."

Then she left me in the desert.

Then she said I was welcome to be an only cat elsewhere, but if I come downstairs, I ought to be nice to Fanta and Princess because its their home.

I was so annoyed at the disrespectful treatment, I went back upstairs.

Until next time we meet in the Bloggosphere

I remain,

Mr Bumpy

Bloggercat (retired),

Supreme Feline Overlord.

Photo of Mr Bumpy, a black and white short-haired cat, with a cup of coffee.

Mr Bumpy Cat, SFO

Mr Bumpy’s origin story takes place in the deep depths of pre-history, when a cute black and white kitten selected a child at the pet shop. When Bumpy refused to let go, the child’s mother had no choice but to pay to buy him. Once in the family home, Bumpy immediately took control as Supreme Feline Overlord of the whole house. Humans and animals were forced to bend to his will. While he is ancient cat now, he still rules the household, iron claw in velvet paw. He is retired, after a ten-year career as a bloggercat.

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By Iris Carden

Iris Carden is an Australian indie author, mother, grandmother, and chronic illness patient. On good days, she writes. Because of the unpredictability of her health, she writes on an indie basis, not trying to meet deadlines. She lives on a disability support pension now, but her ultimate dream is to earn her own living from her writing.

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